Saturday, May 28, 2011

Send This to Under the Age of 40 PLEASE

Here is some chain email worth reading simply because it is right on. The premise is if you under the age 40 you might get confused because the under 40 era is so different than the childhood of the over 40 era. Personally I would consider raising age level to under age 50. I am sending this to some younger dudes to perhaps meditate on how to return America to a generally safer cultural milieu. Yeah I know our era had its fair share of actual unwholesomeness; however the wholesomeness far outweighed the unwholesomeness.

JRH 5/26/11
Anyone I send this to under the age of 40 PLEASE pass it on to your parents because you won’t understand it but they will!!! ENJOY!!!!!!


Generally, I don't forward but this was so funny that I wanted to share it with you.  I hope that you enjoy this bit of nostalgic "medicine."....  Laughter really begins after the photos....
Love...  .

Days of Black and White

Red Skelton
"Good night and God bless.."
Go all the way to the bottom past the pictures. I think you'll enjoy it.
Whoever wrote this must have been my next door neighbor
because it totally described my childhood to a 'T.'
Hope you enjoy it.

Black and White

Our Gang Movies
Jacki Gleason Show
Micky Mouse Club - Annette Funicello
Batman & Robin TV
Gene Autry (I think)
Andy Griffith Show
Lone Ranger & Tonto

Barney Phife
Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)

TV Snow
You could hardly see for all the snow,

Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go..

Pull a chair up to the TV set,
'Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet.'

Mom Chef
My Mom used to cut chicken,
chop eggs and spread mayo
on the same cutting board
with the same knife and no bleach,
but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger
on the counter and I used to eat it raw
sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches
were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag,
not in ice pack coolers,
but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Boy Swimming
Almost all of us would have rather
gone swimming in the lake
instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring),
no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up
a phone in a jail cell, and a pager
was the school PA system.

Smelly Gym Shoes
We all took gym, not PE...
and risked permanent injury
with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym)
instead of having cross-training athletic shoes
with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors.
I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened
because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Stick Man - Gym

Flunking gym was not an option...
even for stupid kids!
I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers
and sang the national anthem,
and staying in detention after school
caught all sorts of negative attention.

School Nurse
We must have had horribly damaged psyches.
What an archaic health system we had then.
Remember school nurses?
Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish
something before I was allowed
to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were
without computers, Play Station, Nintendo,
X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations..

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl
and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting?
I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel
left on vacant construction sites,
and when we got hurt,
Mom pulled out the  48-cent bottle
of mercurochrome (kids liked it better
because it didn't sting like iodine did)
and then we got our butt spanked.

School Butt Spanking

Now it's a trip to the emergency room,
followed by a 10-day dose
of a $49 bottle of antibiotics,
and then Mom calls the attorney
to sue the contractor for leaving
a horribly vicious pile of gravel
where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either,
because if we did we got our butt spanked there
and then we got our butt spanked again
when we got home.

Walk to Wood Shed

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door
coming over and doing his tricks
on the front stoop, just before he fell off.
Little did his Mom know that she
could have owned our house. 
Instead, she picked him up and swatted him
for being such a goof.
It was a neighborhood run amuck.

Turned Over Mom's Knee

To top it off, not a single person I knew
had ever been told that they were from
a dysfunctional family.

How could we possibly have known that? 

We needed to get into group therapy
and anger management classes.

We were obviously so duped
by so many societal ills,
that we didn't even notice
that the entire country
wasn't taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?


Pass this to someone and remember that
life's most simple pleasures are very often the best.

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