Norma
Zager has found the key to world peace. A great read. Enjoy.
JRH
12/28/17
********************
World
Peace for a Piece of Cheesecake
By
Norma Zager
Sent
12/26/2017 3:15 PM
Sabbath
dinner isn’t an accident. On Friday nights in the Jewish religion when families
sit down to a stuff fest of meats, chicken soup, salads, starches and desserts, there is a grand
design afoot.
When
a group of relations is in one place long enough, it will not be long
before the temperature rises and old wounds like where Aunt Rose was forced to
sit at the wedding and why Uncle Sol didn’t come to cousin Lilli's funeral will
surface.
God
looked down at the first Sabbath dinner and in his infinite wisdom figured out
that the more carbs he stuffs into his people the less strength they will have
for bloodshed.
And
so the tradition was born.
Not
just in Jewish homes, but all religions where food is a necessity at family
gatherings. Granted the Jews and Italians have risen overfeeding to an art
form, but it has definitely caught on in a big way.
It
has thus occurred to me at numerous times in my life the way world leaders look
when they sit down to negotiate. Hungry and cranky like a small baby whose
bottle is a few minutes late in arriving.
Sitting in their high chair with cross little looks on their face, lips
quivering and pouting close to tears as they wait feeding.
Perhaps
little Vladimir needs his borscht fix. Would a big boiled potato and some sour
cream make it all better for little Vlad? If he is stuffing his face perhaps he will
stop attacking other countries.
I
am never more aware that there is world hunger than when I see world leaders
sit down to “talk.”
Honestly
Teresa, I know the British are not big foodies, but maybe a good meal of fish
and chips before chatting about terrorism?
Of
course the Chinese are a challenge. By the time they finish eating and walk to
the bargaining table they,
are hungry again. No wonder Xi made such a deal about the chocolate cake.
Angela
Angela, maybe lay off so much sauerbraten at lunchtime. A nice green salad and
fruit perhaps?
If
you look at some of these meetings, you will see that of
everyone, Bibi Netanyahu is usually the most smiley, which is truly ironic
since not a day goes by that Israel is not condemned, maligned, attacked or
threatened.
So
why should Bibi smile? Simply, because he is probably the most well fed of the
bunch.
I
am sure the Mossad has a special detail to ensure that he is never without a
hot meal, a snack and some of his grandmother’s mandal bread.
If
you look at Congress today you can tell in one minute who is not eating.
Obviously
no one from California, as eating anything but micro greens is against state
law.
If
Nancy Pelosi would spend as much time stuffing her face with chocolate as she
does Botox the country would be a far better place.
Chuck
Chuck Chuckala. You’re a New York Jew. Stop with the crying and kvetching and EAT!!!
Paul
you’re looking thin, how about a nice Filet Mignon with garlic-mashed potatoes
and green beans?
Elizabeth
Warren, oh Lord where do I begin? Perhaps some corn chowder and Maine Lobster.
Nope, I think a roll in the hay is required when someone is that damn sour.
Mitch,
taste the fried chicken, it’s out of this world.
Bernie
Bernie Bernie. I know you’re not a
practicing Jew anymore, but maybe a taste of your mother’s chicken soup with
kreplach will put a smile on that puss.
It
is important to remember that when someone is hungry their blood sugar drops.
If you don’t believe that physical circumstances can affect a person’s
personality,
perhaps you’ve never met a woman PMSing and driving to a 7/11 at two in the
morning for a Hershey bar. Oh that’s
right, that was me.
In
order for the world to be a safer place, we need better
catering. I have seen pictures of leaders in discussion, and when there is a
plate of food on the table, it’s usually only cookies or donuts. This is nourishment? I think not. Sugar rush,
blood levels peak and fall. Not good for a long time peace process.
Bust
out a basket of bagels, lox, cream cheese and cut up
veggies. A platter of cheeses and some
scrambled eggs,
and then we’ll talk. Tough to say hostile things when you’re chewing an onion
roll wit a schmear.
I
guarantee the state of the world would alter immediately if the meals improved.
There
is no doubt in my mind that if President Trump invited Chuck to the White House
and they sat down to a big Sabbath dinner, unbuttoned their pants and had an
extra piece of rugalach, much more would get done.
Many
believe the Jewish people have survived because of their senses of humor.
Perhaps that’s big part, but I claim it’s the food. The family that eats
together grows together; in more ways than one.
If
the world would only take my advice, I guarantee the
conversation would go like this:
Trump
and Vlad stuffed to the gills on brisket, borscht and cheesecake all catered by
New York’s famous Katz’s Deli.
Trump,
unbuttoning his pants. “Vlad, I’m so over Assad. He is causing such problems in
the Middle East. Do me a solid here and
let’s find a new guy who’ll work with both of us, and dump the butcher.”
Vlad,
loosening the tie on his sweat pants “ But I need that port, you know I can’t
be without such a strategic waterway. Come on, you know I love the power.”
“Vlad
Vlad Vlad, I’ve got a guy, a cousin of my baker says he knows a guy in Syria
that will let you keep the port and also work with our partners in the Middle
East. You give a little, we give a little; we can do this. More strawberries on
your cheesecake?”
“Just
a spoonful. You think this guy knows what he’s talking about?”
“You’ve
had three pieces of his cheesecake, would he lie?”
“No,
this guy knows his stuff. Tell you what, I’ll meet with him, but I need this
recipe?”
“I
can make that happen. Now lets talk about little rocket man.”
“Please
Donald, I’m eating, don’t ruin my meal here. We’ll discuss him tomorrow at
brunch. Maybe you’ll serve those delicious cronuts?”
Peace
for our time so much better than Chamberlain. But of course the British have never
gotten the whole food thing.
This
is the latest in the series “Postcards from America – Postcards from Israel,”
a collaboration between Zager, award-winning investigative journalist and
author,
and Bussel, a foreign correspondent reporting from Israel.
Ari Bussel and Norma Zager collaborate both in writing
and on the air in a point-counter-point discussion of all things
Israel-related.
Together, they have dedicated the past decade to promoting Israel.
© Israel Monitor, December, 2017
First Published December 24, 2017
Contact: bussel@me.com
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